Whatever the reason you're back on the dating scene, WELCOME! You are not alone....
Before proceeding, I would like you to ask yourself these profound questions: Why am I dating? What am I looking for? Do I want a lifetime commitment or am I living completely in the moment? It is of importance to know the answers because whether or not you're seeking a commitment can make a difference in how you approach dating. If you're dating for fun and companionship, what matters most is how well you get along. If you're seeking a partner, it is important that you get to know the person over more than one date. Keep in mind that you are not going on a job interview; relax, have fun, be yourself and just be open to the possibilities that lie ahead!
Here are 7 MYTHS to ignore:
1- Don’t put yourself out there, you’ll look desperate
FANNIE: PLEASE put yourself out there! How else are you suppose to meet the person who can possibly be your future partner? Pursue interests and activities that mean a lot to you. You’ll eventually meet someone with the same interest as you. The Internet has made this a whole lot easier. If approaching someone you're interested in isn't really your style, you can still be bold by making yourself "indirectly" available. Make eye contact, smile, raise your eyebrows, etc. Body Language is very important and can make someone interested in you.
2- Be honest
FANNIE: If you are not ready to be in a committed relationship, let them know in the beginning so that you don't give false hope. If you're just not interested in a relationship with them anymore, tell them as well. Don't lead them on. Remember, do on to others as you would like done unto you. Communication is the key and honesty is still a critical ingredient to a healthy relationship!
3- Wait to respond
FANNIE: Well, I think we all know that most men love a woman who's challenging, but that doesn't mean you need to let hours pass before you text him back. Instead, communicate with the people you date in the same way you'd communicate with your friends. No need to start unnecessary games, it's time consuming.
4- Don't be emotional
FANNIE: Putting up a few walls can be necessary sometimes, but it's not healthy to regularly hide your feelings in a relationship. Aim for open, honest conversation, and know that it's OK to experience negative emotions, too.
5- Always offer to split the bill
FANNIE: Every situation is different, so know when to pitch in and when to let yourself be treated. If your date insists on paying, then it's polite to offer to help, but you don't always need to reach for your wallet.
6- Downplay your interest
FANNIE: If you're worried about caring "too much," don't be. There's nothing wrong with falling for someone,when it feels right. Chances are caring "too much" will feel like just enough.
7- Take it slow
FANNIE: Every relationship moves at its own pace, so don't feel like you have to force a specific timeline. When it comes to love, follow your instincts, and stay true to what feels right to you. Let your mind lead your body not your body leading your mind.
Here are 13 helpful DON’Ts to follow:
Don’t be late
The fastest way to make a poor impression on a first date is to be late. If something beyond your control causes you to be late, then give your date a courtesy call. It displays respect and that you’re considerate to their feelings.
Don't forget to take care of your personal hygiene
BAD BREATH and/or BODY ODOR is a serious turn OFF! Keep everything on you fresh!
Dress appropriately for your age, and for where it is you are going to with first date.
4. Don’t drink too much during the date
Drinking too much on your first date is likely to make that person think that you are either an alcoholic or that you are just a major party person.
Don’t talk about yourself
Talking non-stop about oneself is the biggest first date-killer in the world. A better bet is to get your date talking about what she likes, and then you can figure out what you might have in common.
Avoid discussing previous relationships
Never discuss prior relationships on a first date. If your date asks, then keep your response very brief and polite about your ex.
Don’t discuss or debate religion or politics
Religion and politics are two of the most sensitive topics you can discuss with anyone - so your absolute best bet on any first date is to avoid DISCUSSING or DEBATING these topics.
Don’t forget to LISTEN to what your date is telling you
We often "hear" but don't "listen" to what we're being told. Listening and being very attentive to your date shows interest and respect for the person.
Don’t take phone calls or respond to text messages during your date
Your date deserves your undivided attention - whether it is your first date or not. Don't disrespect him/her by taking cell phone calls, reading or returning text messages during your date. It's very RUDE!
Don’t forget to compliment but don’t go overboard
You definitely want to say at least one nice thing during your date - but don't be overly complimentary because it will make you look over-eager.
Don’t order something drastic for dinner compared to your date
Skip the pork ribs, or the crab legs - don't order something that requires too much work or mess.
Don’t be too judgmental
Sometimes people are just a bit nervous on that first date - so be careful not to form your opinions too quickly. However, do trust your instincts!
Don’t be rude to anyone during the date
Be nice to everyone - including the restaurant staff, the valet, etc. EVERYONE!
Don’t assume too much about your possible relationship with him/her:
A first date is just that - FIRST DATE! So don't decide that he/she is going to be your "partner for life". Just take things slowly. One step at a time....